Posted November 26, 2006on:
I caught a mild flu (maybe?) just in time to celebrate thanksgiving. Tuesday was perfectly fine, Wednesday throat started to hurt, Thursday throat hurt big time and nose got stuffy, Friday feeling feverish and started to cough, Saturday voice went hoarse and the cough got nasty if I didn’t try to keep it down… Probably tomorrow voice continues to go downhill, and Monday I’ll be good as new, just in time to go to work.
Getting sick is sort of a milestone in my life, since I rarely get sick sick. I would get stuffy nose, or a fever every now and then, but I don’t consider that sick sick. When I get sick sick, there is a pattern. First the throat hurts. Then the hurting is accompanied by a feverish feeling in the head for about a day or two. Then the fever hits. Then the coughs. Then no voice. Then everything is over except I have bad voice for a few more days or up to weeks depends on how sick I would get. I can remember these milestones – 7th or 8th grade, I got sick once. That was the mother of all sick sick event. I was running high fever, throat hurt so bad I could barely eat, nose stuffed up, head felt so heavy, I had no energy, couldn’t even stand up without feeling dizzy. I always remember it because of Chau, sorry Chau. My sickness completely went under the radar at our house, or that was how I felt at the time. I’m pretty sure Mom gave me medicine, because she was always stocking up everything in that house, we had enough coughdrops for 3 years past their expiration dates. I remembered sitting in the family room, and Mom was reminding me that I needed to complete my chores for the day (scrubbing the kitchen and sweeping the hardwood floored rooms). I don’t remember talking to Chau, but I must have, because as I pushed the broom across the room and felt dizzy (which was in and of itself fascinating, because I had only felt dizzy once before that time), Chau sat somewhere nearby and told me that had I been a better person, she would have helped me. It could have been anyone else, and the memory would have stuck all the same, just feeling the kick when I was down, you know? Somehow I grew up with the notion that sickness makes one special. It brings forgiveness at least, and maybe it could bring love. When I was absolutely mad at Mom, I used to imagine myself bedridden and Mom would regret all the things she had said/done to me. But life had proven to me on so many occasions that sickness did not deliver. And yet this feeling about wanting to feel loved and cared for when I’m sick is still with me.
As I grew older, family’s attitudes changed a lot. Mom was truly concerned last night when I told her that I’m sick. Chau would cook for me and get me medicine if I were at her house. An would tolerate my whinings and bad temper. But I’m already out of my nest. Family is no longer my everyday surrounding. I’m still longing for someone to baby me, perhaps to compensate for the missing warmth long ago.
Anyways, aside from that sob story, I got sick sick the 2nd time in December 1996. That time I was pretty sick too, except Mom gave me Contact, which is a drug with POWER. That stuffs curbed my stuffy nose which was the worse symptom. I still had a long bout of coughs that left me without a voice for 2 days. It was right after Xmas, I remember, and my friend Chau at the time got me to go to Thuy’s house, another friend. I remember sitting in that tiny apt and feeling my head getting hotter and heavier by the minute (oh yeah, I remember now, the reason why we all went that night was because it was my birthday, Thuy’s was 2 days after mine, and Chau’s was 2 days after Thuy’s, so we all decided to have our bday cake on the 28th). I was all too glad when the movie was over and I could go home. That was also the year I met anh T.. He called me up the Sunday after Xmas, and the first thing he said was “You sound terrible!” It always make me smile when I think of that line now. That was the year my coughs lasted for a week.
The third time I got sick was in 2001, end of October. Son and I were in the process of moving to our first apt together, and I remember getting boxes out of my room at 2021 Francisco St., then paused to cough my lungs off. Hieu was there that night to help me move, and because I was sick, I got the easy part. That bout of flu lasted for a week, because I remember Son and I staying in bed watching Escaflowne the entire Saturday since I didn’t want to do anything else. All day long in bed. 26 eps of Escaflowne.
I think about 2 years ago, I also got sick sick, but for some reason I can’t remember if that was a flu or a cold. Must have been a cold, because it has been awhile since I felt these germs kicking my body. I’m gonna go on keeping count of my sick bouts until I get some pampering around here.