i know what you mean!

break through

Posted on: October 7, 2010

tonight was interesting. We were in bed by 10:10pm, but by 10:30pm May seemed to be on the brink of falling asleep, but couldn’t. Mindful of what Tran had told me before, I thought perhaps May’s dinner (pumpkin soup and chicken) was not filling enough. I asked her if she was hungry. She agreed. I asked if she wanted to eat. She ran for the door. So at 11pm we were downstairs eating rice with homemade chicken broth and reading books. After the meal, May got this idea in her head of going into the guest room, get on the bed, and putting on her apron. She was much more persistent than usual, and refused to nurse multiple times. I told her I’m going to lie down in bed and sleep, and I did. May ran for the door and kept on asking me to open it. After 4-5x, her voice falter and she sounded so forlorn and pitiful, ask if she was begging for sympathy. I didn’t like the idea of her dreaming about this tonight and waking up the whole night, so I gave up playing dead, sat up in bed, opened my arms and said, “May, come here I’ll hold you OK?” May doesn’t resist such offer, so she went for it, but while she hugged me, she said, “ddi, le^n, mang,” meaning she still wants me to take her over to the other room so she can get onto the bed and wear her apron. It took me a good 10 minutes to dissuade her. But I was firm, telling her that I understood what she wants, and I’m sympathetic with her desire, but at this time we need to sleep. I promised her that once she wakes up in the morning when there is sunlight, we’ll do all those things. I told her that at this time, I could hold her and sing to her, if she likes that. She agreed. So I held her and sung for awhile. And she closed her eyes soon after.
And I put her down to bed, still sound asleep.
No nursing – first time ever. I had managed to lull her to sleep in my arms before, but typically she would wake up the moment I put her down, and I would have to nurse her down. Not tonight. Wooohoo.

I’m aware that a breakthrough doesn’t promise immediate changes. Like that one time May slept through the night at 6 week (lol). Or that one time she used the potty for #2. Or that one time May fell asleep on her own at 5 months… Ha, that was funny. But a breakthrough let me know what is possible. And that’s all I need.


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October 2010
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