i know what you mean!

dude!

Posted on: December 22, 2012

not sure about the end of the world, but today totally had my ass kicked karate style. First, May is full blown sick, runny nose, sneezing, coughing, congested, all that good stuffs. She has been sick since September – the month she entered school, uh huh. But anyhow, nothing went right. It rained miserably all day long, dark and gloomy on top of being wet. May woke up at 7:15, so she came into my room, resulting in Tim getting up before 9 a.m. Then Tim didn’t drift off peacefully in the swing as planned for his morning nap, so between crying fits, he caught a few 10 minutes catnaps here and there before I finally finished feeding May some breakfast, made her lunch, set her lunch out with fruits, started the T.V. to rot her brain, and then retreated downstairs to rescue him. That didn’t do him much good, because he commenced pooping, so of course he had to get changed, blah blah blah, before we knew it, oh my, time for school. Drag 2 kids to school, things were looking “ok” until May got off the car, tripped on the sidewalk and fell down. That got some of her clothes wet and muddy, including her white pony. By the time I said goodbye to her in a very harried manner, May looked like she was ready to cry because she was still reeling from the fall (psychologically). Came home, tried to get Tim to nap, but things didn’t go too well neither. He had a pooping marathon where he kept nursing to sleep, then pooped, so I changed him, rinse, repeat. By 3p.m., he nursed and I fell asleep briefly for about 20 minutes. Woke up to unlatch him, then burped him, he woke up for a bit, I set him down on the bed, nursed him down, he finally entered deep sleep on his own and then whaddayaknow, it’s 4pm, time to pick May up. Plus, he pooped. Weeeee.

Teacher said May had a melt down (first time) near the end. She was rubbing her eyes and weepy by the time I got us home, all pretty wet even with umbrella. Tim was screaming, May was crying, I was physically in pain because hauling the carseat walking around apparently irritated my stitches. Grrr. After I freed us all from the wet layers, put the wailing Tim into the swing, ran a hot bubble bath, dropped May in there along with a warm humidifier shut in the bathroom. Ran upstairs and made super fast chicken noodle soup, went downstairs to pull May out and dressed her while singing to soothe Tim to sleep in his swing. Took May upstairs, turn on TV to rot her brain (I’m beginning to enjoy watching My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic, so must mean the rot has gotten to my brain as well), fetched the crying Tim from downstairs (he slept intermittently) popped him into the sling, stuck a boob in his face, and sat down next to May to feed her some chicken soup.
That’s how Son found us when he came home from work. I think for many, this is not a bad scenario, because both kids have not burned down the house. But I think for me, I just feel lots and lots of guilt towards Tim. I’m not sure about enjoying motherhood this 2nd time around, because I don’t have enough time to enjoy my 2nd baby. I’m just running madly between the 2, often ending with leaving Tim to cry himself to sleep on the swing while I tend to May. It’s not that I have not tried to wear him in the moby or the sling. He only tolerates it 1/2 of the time. The other half, he’s crying, so might as well put him down. Tim is a very sweet natured child, not too hard to please, and sadly, because of his sweetness, I think he has been getting the short end of the deal. Did you enjoy your baby the 2nd time around much more than the 1st? What’s your secret? Sending your 1st child to school full time? I’ve been thinking long and hard about that too, but in the end, I still decided to keep her with me mostly. I’m doing a count down til Tim turns 1. 1 will be the magic number that gives my sanity back to where it belongs. And perhaps seeing that magical 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep again.  I will even take 5.

2 Responses to "dude!"

Pat yourself on the back chị. A day like that is hell for any parent. There were days I went through something similar with both kids screaming no matter how I tried to console them.

I did enjoy motherhood 2nd time around much more than the first time. Two reasons: Sasha is much more easy going and Sophie goes to school.

I don’t know what you consider full-time preschool. Sophie goes to school about 5-6 hours a day. It is a daycare, they run from 6:30a-6:30p. You can pretty much drop your kid off any time. But there is a curriculum and I make sure Sophie gets to school accordingly so she doesn’t miss out circle time, crafts, etc… and pick her up after her nap because she naps very well in school. Sophie is also the kind of kid that thrives in environment with lots of stimulation so school was perfect for her.

I find having 5-6 hours at home during the day with the baby helps a lot. Except for the first 2 weeks that my mother stayed with me, I didn’t have any help whatsoever so preschool saved us all. During the day when Sophie is at school, I could:
– Establish a schedule for Sasha
– Bathe myself and Sasha
– Grocery shopping/cook/laundry/clean
– Have snacks and dinner ready for Sophie

Typically she goes to school around 9-10am, and I come pick her up between 2:30-3:30pm. That way, I could feed her breakfast and had time with her in the morning, got things done while she was at school, and got her home to prepared snacks and dinner. And still had a lot of time with her before she goes to bed at 8:30pm. She was well rested too because she could nap in school. Of course, not every day went as planned.

On a good day, I finished feeding her breakfast before Sasha woke up, had Sasha well napped before Sophie came home, successfully convinced Sophie to stay watching YouTube on my computer until I nursed Sasha down for a nap late afternoon.

On a bad day, I held Sasha, nursing on one arm, and fed Sophie breakfast with the other; could not get Sasha to nap before time to pick up Sophie; and could not put Sasha down for her late afternoon nap because Sophie kept coming into the room. Etc, etc….

But, most days went pretty well and it got better. Sometimes we had to take 2 steps back but that probably went on for a few weeks (i.e. Sasha all of a sudden would not sleep for more than 2 hours at night without sucking on my boob). So once I had Sasha on a schedule at about 2 months old, things were going very well. So yea, if you could send May to school for a little more than 4 hours, that would help a lot. I didn’t have help so I had to send Sophie to school everyday. But if May has other relatives to watch her on other days, then you might not need to.

At May’s age, you can probably convince her to feed herself. I know you want to feed her, I still feed Sophie probably 1/3 of the time, but for your sanity at this time, May can help by feeding her self dinner or lunch?

I also forgot to mention that around the time Sasha turned 1, Sophie started to go to scho part time. Now she’s going 3 days a week, same time. Her bday is in october, so i’m not in a hurry for her to be in preschool much amyway.

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Later!

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