Posted December 22, 2012on:
not sure about the end of the world, but today totally had my ass kicked karate style. First, May is full blown sick, runny nose, sneezing, coughing, congested, all that good stuffs. She has been sick since September – the month she entered school, uh huh. But anyhow, nothing went right. It rained miserably all day long, dark and gloomy on top of being wet. May woke up at 7:15, so she came into my room, resulting in Tim getting up before 9 a.m. Then Tim didn’t drift off peacefully in the swing as planned for his morning nap, so between crying fits, he caught a few 10 minutes catnaps here and there before I finally finished feeding May some breakfast, made her lunch, set her lunch out with fruits, started the T.V. to rot her brain, and then retreated downstairs to rescue him. That didn’t do him much good, because he commenced pooping, so of course he had to get changed, blah blah blah, before we knew it, oh my, time for school. Drag 2 kids to school, things were looking “ok” until May got off the car, tripped on the sidewalk and fell down. That got some of her clothes wet and muddy, including her white pony. By the time I said goodbye to her in a very harried manner, May looked like she was ready to cry because she was still reeling from the fall (psychologically). Came home, tried to get Tim to nap, but things didn’t go too well neither. He had a pooping marathon where he kept nursing to sleep, then pooped, so I changed him, rinse, repeat. By 3p.m., he nursed and I fell asleep briefly for about 20 minutes. Woke up to unlatch him, then burped him, he woke up for a bit, I set him down on the bed, nursed him down, he finally entered deep sleep on his own and then whaddayaknow, it’s 4pm, time to pick May up. Plus, he pooped. Weeeee.
Teacher said May had a melt down (first time) near the end. She was rubbing her eyes and weepy by the time I got us home, all pretty wet even with umbrella. Tim was screaming, May was crying, I was physically in pain because hauling the carseat walking around apparently irritated my stitches. Grrr. After I freed us all from the wet layers, put the wailing Tim into the swing, ran a hot bubble bath, dropped May in there along with a warm humidifier shut in the bathroom. Ran upstairs and made super fast chicken noodle soup, went downstairs to pull May out and dressed her while singing to soothe Tim to sleep in his swing. Took May upstairs, turn on TV to rot her brain (I’m beginning to enjoy watching My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic, so must mean the rot has gotten to my brain as well), fetched the crying Tim from downstairs (he slept intermittently) popped him into the sling, stuck a boob in his face, and sat down next to May to feed her some chicken soup.
That’s how Son found us when he came home from work. I think for many, this is not a bad scenario, because both kids have not burned down the house. But I think for me, I just feel lots and lots of guilt towards Tim. I’m not sure about enjoying motherhood this 2nd time around, because I don’t have enough time to enjoy my 2nd baby. I’m just running madly between the 2, often ending with leaving Tim to cry himself to sleep on the swing while I tend to May. It’s not that I have not tried to wear him in the moby or the sling. He only tolerates it 1/2 of the time. The other half, he’s crying, so might as well put him down. Tim is a very sweet natured child, not too hard to please, and sadly, because of his sweetness, I think he has been getting the short end of the deal. Did you enjoy your baby the 2nd time around much more than the 1st? What’s your secret? Sending your 1st child to school full time? I’ve been thinking long and hard about that too, but in the end, I still decided to keep her with me mostly. I’m doing a count down til Tim turns 1. 1 will be the magic number that gives my sanity back to where it belongs. And perhaps seeing that magical 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep again. I will even take 5.