i know what you mean!

where did my kid go?

Posted on: February 19, 2013

tonight I just realized something.
My Zen kid has been missing since November. If you have been in the throes of your terrible 3er’s antics and secretly envied my luck, well, envy no more, I’m right there with you. The sweet, caring, loving, funny, smart, whatever girl that I have? She’s still here. But her Zen factor packed up and left home the day Tim arrived. Now we have one EMO kid at home. Stuffs that textbooks talk about 3 year olds? She’s here. She tests her boundaries, she swings from one end of emotion to the other, she’s defiant at times, and, ugh, she has sleep problems that wake us up many nights. WTF. Last year An and Chau were telling me about the craps May’s cousin put her household through, and I was all, WTF man, WTF. And then this year the WTF got us too. Granted, we are nowhere near the stuffs Chau went through, because afterall, I’m still at home, and that has to count for something, right? But we got nights where she woke up crying for me saying she misses me and craps. It took me one night sleeping with her (while Son was on an overnight shift) to solve this mysterious multiple wake-ups at night. She was not sick, but her throat got dry, itchy, and scratchy. Son doesn’t have this problem in the winter, so he is clueless, but I have this problem. It wakes me from my sleep, and it feels really really uncomfortable. Hence a tantrum in the middle of the night. Except she wouldn’t say why, until I said “May, it feels kike your throat is supper itchy and annoying, right?” CRazy 3 year olds. They won’t tell you what bothers them if it’s a big thing, but they will sure scream bloody murder if they just get a tiny scratch. Then I got the humidifier on to steam up the entire room, problem solved.

Anyhow, here are the stuffs this new EMO kid at my house currently sport:
– lying. She says stuffs that I can’t tell if it’s true or not, LIke, May, did you nap? Yes mommy. Later on Son goes, she was up the whole time! grrrrrrrr
– contradicting. Like, May, it’s time for a nap, you are tired, let’s go. I’M NOT TIRED. you are rubbing your eyes and yawning, let’s go. I’M NOT TIRED, I’M NOT SLEEPY!
– SUPER ANNOYINGLY QUICK TO CRY. like, May, let’s keep our voices down OK? OK MOM! That’s kinda loud, can we keep it lower? OK mom… HEY LOOK AT THIS ! sshhhhhhh! SORRY MOM, I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY! ok ok sssshhhhhhhh! I JUST WANT YOU HAPPY! grrrrr shhh!! WAAAAAH I’M SO SORRY I JUST WANT YOU HAPPY WAAAAAHHHH!

It was probably the reason why my foster family returned me to my mom at age 3, right? And also the reason why I ended up being marked as the bad child at home from thereon ? Because I got introduced to my sibblings and parents at the worst age possible, where they just piled on the punishments and never stop ’til I left home. How unfortunate, I could have been so charming…

anyhow.

Oh, and May’s new line? I will not do it again next time, mommy. Except she doesn’t remember having said that, the next time,
Thing is, every single one of her attitude/behavior could be averted if I have energy, time, patience – in short, enough sleep. But sometimes I just want to throw a tantrum of my own, so I just hiss at her, or, worse, cover her mouth to muffle her cry while carrying her out of the room to somewhere far far away from the sleeping baby, before I could commence to tell her that she has until I count to 2 to zip it. I’m not proud of these moments at all, and I admit to her that it’s the ugly moments mommy is having. You don’t want ugly moments from mommy? pay attention to the warnings mommy gives.
It’s not what the supernanny would recommend, but hey, screw supernanny. Supernanny gets to come into a household, discipline the kids with firmness, compassion, consistency, and then goes home to a full night sleep and not having to clean a house full of crap and then waking up every 2-3 hours on a good night. Me, I’m on 24/7 whether I feel like it or not. When I’m not feeling like it, I flip out. So I tell May, you know, your brother is so young he doesn’t know better, so he has a grace period, like you have had the last 3 years. But now you know better, both you and I know that. You want a nice mommy? Then be nice to me.

That’s the new operative line in our household. You want nice mommy? Yes mommy, I want you to be nice to me. OK, then let’s be nice to each other, remember that. Yes mommy, whatever you say.

cheeky 3 year old, soon to turn 4. I’ve heard that it will all go away by the time they turn 5.

P1000924

1 Response to "where did my kid go?"

Hugs Hugs Hugs
I feel for you.
Give yourself some credit and a break from being the perfect Mom you always want to be. May will be just fine and so will you. Just think, she is not going to be around patient and understanding people all the time. You are training her to deal with real life situations. I’m serious. Yes, it would be ideal to do everything we can to keep our kids happy and content all the time, but they’re going to have to learn to deal with difficult people as well.

I have had moments like that when I am not proud of at all, but sometimes, that is what it takes. And Yes, the “if you want me to be nice to you, you need to be nice to me as well” is often applied at my house too hahaha…

My kids are at the stage of constant fighting over something. lol. But it’s just something they go through and we have to deal with. I take it one day at a time. Join a gym or engage in some physical activity when you get a chance. Definitely helps me more than I could ever think of.

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