sense of shame
Posted April 10, 2013on:
we were at Target, I put some 90% off Easter Egg dye kit into the shopping cart with May sitting in there. After a while, I noticed that she opened the box and pulled all the precut shapes out of their slots, so basically the kit was destroyed. Even though the item was only 40 cents, I got really annoyed and told her that these things are not ours, when we shop, we never open packages before we pay for them, etc. etc.. May got tearful and apologized. If I had said “It’s ok, don’t worry, just don’t do it again.” then she would have been fine. Except I was really annoyed and not ready to talk to her yet, so I just kept silent for a bit, and I figured, she’ll have to deal with me being annoyed like this and know how to work her way through it sooner or later. I can’t just say it’s fine, i’m not mad at you, while I was actually mad at her. So may cried a bit louder asking me to reassure her. That was when a lady down the aisle started to turn around and looked at her. I said “that’s what happen when you cry out in public, it draws people’s attention.”
May immediately suppressed her sobs and wiped her face, then when she still didn’t feel fine, she asked me to take her home in a quiet but urgent voice. She didn’t throw a tantrum, didn’t cry louder, but she just kept repeating her request over and over again. Of course we got out of there fast. Does that mean May won’t throw a fit in public places ?
I started her on a reward system. Got some pretty things and called them coins. For each task that she completes well and cheerfully, she gets a coin. Today is day 3, and it has worked so well thus far. She has done things such as cleaning up after herself without being reminded or helped. She fed herself. She played alone upstairs when she saw me still sleeping. Put away her shoes. And she did everything carefully and sweetly. I want to keep this happy kid forever!