May is 4
Posted April 30, 2013on:
May turned 4 last week. She must have felt like the whole month of April was one big Christmas count down, as gifts began to trickle in a few times a week. I just let her open them as they come. Then on the day of her birthday, mommy and daddy gave her the one thing we know she would love: a “yes” day. I’ve learned the term from chi. Quyen, but the concept is called “love bombing.” On one hand, you have chi. Quyen who, when giving out “yes” days, would allow her kids to come up with a list of things they would like to do for the day, and on that day mom would let them do those things. On the other hand, the full application of love bombing involves going somewhere to be alone with the child and then giving almost total control to the child, saying yes to every harmless suggestion, and fill the hours in between with affection and full attention. We gave May something in between. Son took a day off and we were just hanging out together, but whatever May wanted, she get. Endless tv watching? sure! Candies? OK! go to school when it’s not your school day? That’s fine, we’ll just pop in to say hello. Not a single tantrum. Not a single tear. She went to bed happy as a clam. And the day was incredibly easy, because she just wanted to watch about 3 episodes of Blue’s Clues before she was done. She only asked for candy 2 times. She only wanted to play make believe for about 40 minutes, etc., etc..
After all the parties were over and all presents unwrapped, May woke up on Sunday and declared it was mommy and daddy’s “yes” day. She still thought about that day🙂
She was handled a stack of thank you cards and mommy said, OK May, you wanted a big party, and this is what it means. (at her birthday party, she had to greet all of her guests and welcome them, and my line to get full compliance was “OK May, you told me you wanted a big party, so this is what it means to have a big party, these are the things you need to do…”). She spent a large part of Sunday writing thank you cards, but we are only about 2/3 done. She said, this makes me so tired. I said, oh, well, let’s think about that next time we decide on having parties ok!